he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
