Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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