he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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