Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
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Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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