We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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