Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
