I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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