the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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