I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
