They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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