Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
