She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
