I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I have tasted many bathrooms
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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