Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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