my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
