so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
