You really coming over, don't trick.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She even gives head with a lisp.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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