The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
