He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
how drunk are you?
Several
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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