and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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