the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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