It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
