Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.