so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?