It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
