I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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