shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
