you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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