nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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