It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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