be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night