Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.

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  (412): I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life. http://tfl.nu/mibv
  Replies (8) Good night (1158) Bad night (694)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.

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  (207): I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/3fqs
  Replies (27) Good night (3580) Bad night (1066)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  how do you have sooo much energy?

  (571): View more from Virginia

  billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week

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  (703): how do you have sooo much energy? (571): billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week http://tfl.nu/czgq
  Replies (16) Good night (4586) Bad night (844)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.

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  (856): You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am. http://tfl.nu/u2qi
  Replies (14) Good night (1519) Bad night (5972)
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  (562): View more from California

  he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.

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  (562): he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8. http://tfl.nu/qal7
  Replies (13) Good night (4542) Bad night (1166)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.

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  (440): We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls. http://tfl.nu/q9cr
  Replies (8) Good night (1327) Bad night (5590)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.

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  (817): Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period. http://tfl.nu/d1q3
  Replies (7) Good night (5217) Bad night (1142)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.

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  (907): We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke. http://tfl.nu/z4fd
  Replies (19) Good night (6761) Bad night (1753)
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  (310): View more from California

  Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.

  (1-310): View more from California

  Shall we take a trip back?

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  (310): Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times. (1-310): Shall we take a trip back? http://tfl.nu/btgk
  Replies (6) Good night (1994) Bad night (633)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood

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  (931): his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood http://tfl.nu/n403
  Replies (20) Good night (4077) Bad night (1197)
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  (949): View more from California

  did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?

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  (949): did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass? http://tfl.nu/5kuh
  Replies (9) Good night (1036) Bad night (601)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming

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  (403): Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming http://tfl.nu/n2ay
  Replies (5) Good night (1223) Bad night (664)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.

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  (864): I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something. http://tfl.nu/s8xu
  Replies (6) Good night (938) Bad night (503)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian

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  (201): you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian http://tfl.nu/lzbp
  Replies (2) Good night (1170) Bad night (417)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size

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  (360): My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size http://tfl.nu/d6g3
  Replies (1) Good night (507) Bad night (230)

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