after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.