Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...

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  (703): Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches... http://tfl.nu/6ywp
  Replies (47) Good night (8317) Bad night (1035)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs

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  (440): im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs http://tfl.nu/wg4t
  Replies (7) Good night (834) Bad night (2409)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.

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  (617): I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot. http://tfl.nu/tunm
  Replies (45) Good night (1558) Bad night (5078)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.

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  (229): so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing. http://tfl.nu/p809
  Replies (26) Good night (2739) Bad night (1026)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."

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  (617): i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex." http://tfl.nu/vl6s
  Replies (24) Good night (4952) Bad night (780)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.

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  (401): Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight. http://tfl.nu/8i8j
  Replies (12) Good night (878) Bad night (3557)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed

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  (704): dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed http://tfl.nu/q2zi
  Replies (8) Good night (2384) Bad night (985)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..

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  (505): You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through.. http://tfl.nu/mwok
  Replies (9) Good night (1706) Bad night (718)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace

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  (519): This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace http://tfl.nu/d3z0
  Replies (5) Good night (593) Bad night (1340)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.

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  (586): My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage. http://tfl.nu/u2i7
  Replies (5) Good night (2609) Bad night (608)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...

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  (814): I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before... http://tfl.nu/3no3
  Replies (3) Good night (828) Bad night (535)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.

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  (813): I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs. http://tfl.nu/cwm9
  Replies (1) Good night (881) Bad night (422)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.

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  (773): okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis. http://tfl.nu/pm2x
  Replies (2) Good night (353) Bad night (782)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?

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  (513): Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom? http://tfl.nu/9zj7
  Replies (5) Good night (375) Bad night (322)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.

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  (713): This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy. http://tfl.nu/xpy1
  Replies (2) Good night (623) Bad night (247)

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