Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just threw up on my dentist

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  (603): I just threw up on my dentist http://tfl.nu/4tee
  Replies (20) Good night (886) Bad night (3203)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  wtf?

  (904): View more from Florida

  It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'

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  (904): Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum' (1-904): wtf? (904): It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend' http://tfl.nu/kgyk
  Replies (14) Good night (4344) Bad night (804)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Do you still like to have your hair pulled?

  (713): View more from Texas

  No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.

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  (575): Do you still like to have your hair pulled? (713): No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused. http://tfl.nu/4p98
  Replies (26) Good night (640) Bad night (3341)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.

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  (973): Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up. http://tfl.nu/7cla
  Replies (23) Good night (4791) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  i told you not to try chat roulette

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  (248): it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world (1-248): i told you not to try chat roulette http://tfl.nu/80bv
  Replies (20) Good night (1205) Bad night (6435)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look

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  (206): He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look http://tfl.nu/dski
  Replies (17) Good night (4734) Bad night (1406)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?

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  (502): I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here? http://tfl.nu/c5kh
  Replies (6) Good night (2188) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom

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  (605): the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom http://tfl.nu/jd2y
  Replies (6) Good night (612) Bad night (2086)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.

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  (618): I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door. http://tfl.nu/79gl
  Replies (17) Good night (2732) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"

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  (310): Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there" http://tfl.nu/gk1u
  Replies (3) Good night (1291) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head

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  (703): His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head http://tfl.nu/cxta
  Replies (10) Good night (501) Bad night (1297)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.

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  (586): My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween. http://tfl.nu/l0yk
  Replies (2) Good night (889) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass

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  (705): We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass http://tfl.nu/z449
  Replies (4) Good night (621) Bad night (243)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.

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  (727): We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity. http://tfl.nu/gy6t
  Replies (4) Good night (705) Bad night (156)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony

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  (708): You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony http://tfl.nu/8xhz
  Replies (1) Good night (276) Bad night (432)

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