Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.

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  (508): Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/jn2c
  Replies (12) Good night (861) Bad night (4120)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man

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  (215): we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man http://tfl.nu/tkk9
  Replies (29) Good night (9047) Bad night (1324)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.

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  (610): You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila. http://tfl.nu/p50o
  Replies (10) Good night (4876) Bad night (1027)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho

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  (519): your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho http://tfl.nu/j100
  Replies (3) Good night (3016) Bad night (1358)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE

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  (902): OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE http://tfl.nu/77eb
  Replies (7) Good night (782) Bad night (2775)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...

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  (215): I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day... http://tfl.nu/n3yk
  Replies (3) Good night (861) Bad night (1940)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think

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  (847): If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think http://tfl.nu/90ww
  Replies (8) Good night (2475) Bad night (714)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?

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  (303): How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads? http://tfl.nu/o7ne
  Replies (10) Good night (1752) Bad night (632)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.

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  (501): I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/edkm
  Replies (6) Good night (1055) Bad night (622)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.

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  (850): He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him. http://tfl.nu/bban
  Replies (6) Good night (984) Bad night (451)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.

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  (312): I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that. http://tfl.nu/kiyu
  Replies (1) Good night (688) Bad night (361)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here

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  (306): had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious (1-306): that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here http://tfl.nu/w93t
  Replies (1) Good night (729) Bad night (357)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  Teach me the song of your people

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  (304): I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow (1-304): Teach me the song of your people http://tfl.nu/wyqv
  Replies (1) Good night (883) Bad night (302)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....

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  (248): I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him.... http://tfl.nu/0ivu
  Replies (0) Good night (549) Bad night (492)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.

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  (585): Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful. http://tfl.nu/cgzo
  Replies (4) Good night (669) Bad night (309)

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