So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
