smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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