I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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