i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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