You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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