Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
