I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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