We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
