i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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