WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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