found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
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I need a burrito and a hug.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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