69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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