Jerry, you need to find god
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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