I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
