remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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