i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Is it because I queefed?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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