we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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