The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
