she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
