Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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