**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
