I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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