So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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