Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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