He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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