I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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