im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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