i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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