i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
