i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
