Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
