Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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