Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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