Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
At least make sure they are 18
Why
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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