whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
