we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Damn victory sex feels great
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
