Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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