You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
