we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
