Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
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